/Malin Andersson admits she's often 'felt close to giving up'

Malin Andersson admits she's often 'felt close to giving up'

has admitted she often ‘felt close to giving up’ amid the recent split from her boyfriend Jared and the death of her first daughter Consy in January 2019.

The former contestant, 29, who gave birth to her second child Xaya two months ago, shared a photo of her baby bump during her pregnancy.

In a candid post shared to Instagram on Monday, she revealed how she ‘felt change amongst her future’ in the photo, which she had ‘at one point feared’. 

Candid: Malin Andersson has admitted she's often 'felt close to giving up' amid the split from her boyfriend Jared and the death of her daughter Consy... as she shared the bump from her second pregnancy in a Monday Instagram post

Candid: Malin Andersson has admitted she’s often ‘felt close to giving up’ amid the split from her boyfriend Jared and the death of her daughter Consy…

as she shared the bump from her second pregnancy in a Monday Instagram post

Taking the opportunity to plug her upcoming book, Positivity is our Superpower, the reality star wrote: ‘Life doesn’t always go to how you plan.

‘You think you have it all written out, yet the universe says otherwise.

It says – Nope, this is the way I have it for you, the road is different to how you expect but this one’s the better way. One of growth and purity.’

‘In life we are faced with adversity, some choose to focus on that some choose to focus on overcoming it. Overcome the feeling, overcome the problem. Take control and successfully deal with the adversity.

‘In life I have been sent my fair share of adversity..

leaving me more than willing to speak on and share with ways to overcome, what can feel like an overwhelming darkness. 

Open book: In a candid post shared to Instagram on Monday, she revealed how she 'felt change amongst her future' in the photo, which she had 'at one point feared'

Open book: In a candid post shared to Instagram on Monday, she revealed how she ‘felt change amongst her future’ in the photo, which she had ‘at one point feared’

‘Adversity often comes when light and laughter is near.

If something if truly right for you, the universe will test you. You must show you are willing to learn and practice positivity through the test it gives you.

‘In a life rich with loss and sorrow I have often felt close to giving up.
Somewhere in my soul I knew to keep going, to continue to elevate, to refine myself and my expand my consciousness.

‘In this photo I felt change amongst my future, a change at one point I feared. I overcame the fear of imminent change.

I took charge of my own fate and for the next few months I learnt that not everything goes to plan.

‘I honed my parenting skills, constantly reading and learning how I could give my girl the best start.

Inspirational: She wrote: 'You think you have it all written out, yet the universe says otherwise'

Inspirational: She wrote: ‘You think you have it all written out, yet the universe says otherwise’

‘In that moment I took control.

‘Today I call to you today find the lesson that the universe desires to teach you.

Look for the good. Become inspired and continue to live your life even when it doesn’t feel like you can see a light.

‘My book ‘Positivity is our Superpower’ is out tomorrow.

‘You can overcome ANYTHING.
[praying emoji] ❤️ @hayhouseuk.’ 

Can't wait: She took the opportunity to plug her upcoming book, Positivity is our Superpower

Can’t wait: She took the opportunity to plug her upcoming book, Positivity is our Superpower

It comes after Malin announced her split from boyfriend Jared –  just two months after giving birth to their daughter Xaya.

The influencerbroke the news in a heartbreaking Instagram post, revealing the pair had gone their separate ways four weeks ago – around five weeks after their daughter arrived on January 28.

She wrote: ‘I have always prided myself on being open and transparent on here so I want to let you all know that myself and Jared are no longer together.

Devastating: It comes after Malin announced her split from boyfriend Jared - just two months after giving birth to their daughter Xaya

Devastating: It comes after Malin announced her split from boyfriend Jared – just two months after giving birth to their daughter Xaya

‘We split around four weeks ago and have since been trying to come to terms with everything and process it all.

‘We are co-parenting Xaya as she of course comes first in all of this but we would appreciate some space as we navigate through this separation.

‘I don’t want to go into more detail at the moment, my baby girl is my main priority and I am building myself back up with what fuels my strength – friends, family, exercise and meditation.

‘I didn’t expect any of this to happen, I feel truly blindsided…

but as always, I trust the universe has a plan for me.’  

Mystery: The pair were friends for years prior to their relationship, with Malin describing Jared as an 'amazing dad'. She never publicly revealed his face or surname (pictured together)

Mystery: The pair were friends for years prior to their relationship, with Malin describing Jared as an ‘amazing dad’.

She never publicly revealed his face or surname (pictured together)

Post: The influencer said she felt 'blindsided' by the relationship breakdown in her post

Post: The influencer said she felt ‘blindsided’ by the relationship breakdown in her post

The pair were friends for years prior to their relationship, with Malin describing him as an ‘amazing dad’.

She never publicly revealed his face or surname.

She told MailOnline this month: ‘He’s brilliant, he goes to work during the day so he does the nights. He’s just absolutely brilliant with her, I stare at them both with such love in my eyes, he’s just amazing and is the best father I could ask for,’ she gushed.

Just one week ago, Malin opened up about her battle with post-natal depression – and praised Jared for being ‘amazing’.

She wrote: ‘I felt guilt that Jared had to do most of the nights at the start because I couldn’t even move my body.

I was wondering why I had been given this beautiful baby, and why I wasn’t instantly connecting with her soul. 

‘I felt distant. I felt disconnected. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep.. everything I’ve ever wanted, a pure loving family in front of me which I couldn’t quite appreciate.

An amazing man, a surreal daughter.’

Back then: Malin first confirmed her relationship with Jared in June 2021, gushing that he was her 'best friend and soulmate'

Back then: Malin first confirmed her relationship with Jared in June 2021, gushing that he was her ‘best friend and soulmate’

Excited: Malin said she was looking forward to the future with a 'rock by my side' when she first confirmed their romance

Excited: Malin said she was looking forward to the future with a ‘rock by my side’ when she first confirmed their romance

Malin first confirmed her relationship with Jared in June 2021,gushing that he was her ‘best friend and soulmate’.

Malin shared a stunning bikini snap of herself holding Jared’s hand in St.

Lucia to Instagram.

Revealing that she’s known her love for ‘five years’, Malin said that she’s ‘so excited for the future’ and ‘couldn’t be more content and at peace’.  

Alongside the sun-soaked snap, Malin penned: ‘Life has a funny way of making sure you truly do get what you deserve in the end…

‘I’m out here in St Lucia with not just my best friend but my love too..

a lot of you are wondering who this mystery guy is. And I’m going to keep it just like that, as this bit of happiness deserves my privacy in which I will cherish for now.  

‘I’ve known him for 5 years and we have always been friends, and also in and out of each other’s lives..

he’s also been the one that’s got away.. but he’s here to stay and I couldn’t be more content and at peace. 

Baby: She announced she was expecting her first baby with Jared in August 2021

Baby: pts terbaik sumatera She announced she was expecting her first baby with Jared in August 2021

‘It’s weird how it’s all worked out as the ones that care for you the most, you tend to push away..

but timing has been everything in this.

‘My soul mate, bringing only the best out in me and helping me on my forever journey of healing. He knows every inch of my soul and what I’ve gone through, and has been there throughout which is what makes this so special.

‘It’s safe to say it feels surreal and I’ve had a hard time of opening up and letting my guard down, but I know this ones deserving of me (to all my precious fans, I love you and adore you so please don’t worry about me getting hurt as i’m 100% sure I won’t)  

‘This next chapter of my journey needs a rock by my side..

and I’m so excited for the future. Even though I’m an independent boss ass b***h, that will never change.. I also want you guys to know that happiness comes from yourself first.

‘I’ll keep this post short – but yeah.. say hi to the other half of me.’

recently opened up about how she’s coping with the pressures of being a new mum in an exclusive chat with MailOnline.

The star also shared how important it is to be open about overlooked topics within motherhood after recently appearing on the Boots Taboo Talk podcast to open up about fertility.

Candid: Malin recently opened up about how she's coping with the pressures of being a new mum in an exclusive chat with MailOnline

Candid: Malin recently opened up about how she’s coping with the pressures of being a new mum in an exclusive chat with MailOnline

After welcoming daughter Xaya, Malin admitted that she has ‘a new sense of purpose’ as a mum, saying: ‘It’s 100% given me a purpose, It’s given me not just a responsibility to be a mum, but an unconditional love which i’ve never felt before.’

‘I’m not living for me anymore, I’m living for her as well.

So it’s finding that balance as well to make sure I don’t lose myself in the process of it, which a lot of mums do. 

‘I’m trying to be present and just enjoy every minute because she grows so rapidly.

‘At the beginning it takes a while to get into a routine, because I was running on empty, I just had an operation and could barely move – I took a month off work so my whole life was basically her so it was refreshing to implement back parts of my own normalities like work,’ Malin continued. 

While she is settling into motherhood well, the TV personality admitted that being pregnant with Xaya brought up memories of when she was pregnant with baby Consy, who she tragically lost in 2019.

Consy was born seven weeks premature in December 2018 and was being treated at Great Ormond Street hospital, but sadly passed away aged four weeks on 22 January. 

Tragic: The reality star admitted that the experience of being pregnant brought back memories of when she tragically lost her daughter Consy, three years prior (pictured)

Tragic: The reality star admitted that the experience of being pregnant brought back memories of when she tragically lost her daughter Consy, three years prior (pictured)

Malin gave birth to Xaya in an emergency C-section, which used the same scar that she had given birth to Consy from.

She shared: ‘The pregnancy brought up feelings of emotion for Consy, because that was the whole process leading up to her death.

‘But giving birth brought feelings of joy, especially because she came from the same scar, it brought up a lot of overwhelming feelings of love and happiness.’

Malin’s mother – also named Consy – passed away in 2017 after a battle with cancer, with Malin admitting that giving birth resurfaced the grief she felt for her.

New mum: Malin said that giving birth 'brought feelings of joy and overwhelming feelings of love and happiness'

New mum: Malin said that giving birth ‘brought feelings of joy and overwhelming feelings of love and happiness’

‘It has brought up a lot of feelings of grief for my mum because it’s your mum who you want when you’ve just given birth, you want to ask for advice and tips, you want her to meet her grandma – it’s my mum who i’ve missed the most since i’ve given birth,’ she revealed.

Malin assured that her mum, who was also named Consy, ‘won’t be a stranger to Xaya’ as she plans to keep her memory alive with stories. 

Despite the emergency C-section birth, Malin has fully healed now after a quick recovery, with her and boyfriend Jared sharing parenting duties.

If you have been affected by the death of a baby please call Sands on 0808 164 3332 or email [email protected] 

Heartbreaking: it's my mum who i've missed the most since i've given birth,' Malin revealed as she said she wanted her to meet her granddaughter

Heartbreaking: it’s my mum who i’ve missed the most since i’ve given birth,’ Malin revealed as she said she wanted her to meet her granddaughter